what to do with my angry child

How to manage a childs’ anger

The first seven years of our life is  the formation time of our survival behaviours which we take into our adult years.

These are learned behaviours and belief patterns which  should give you the strength confidence and resilience to enjoy and prosper in life and relationships.

Sometimes our first seven years do not provide the nurturing we as individuals need, we suppress our emotions to survive and instead of feeling confident we lack confidence and self esteem, we react to situations rather than respond, and we sense the lack in our lives and don’t feel that sense of happiness to radiate our true being.

Anger is a reactive behaviour and has been described as unresolved grief being directed outwards. In an angry state, the brain locks into survival mode operating from the back left lobe with reduced blood flow to the frontal thinking cortex and increased adrenaline. The hemispheres of the brain are not integrated in a time of stress.

By interrupting the outburst the brain stops its neural track. Repeated enough times, the neural track is not the go to reaction and your child develops more control over emotions.

So try this next time there is an outburst…. pick the child and move to another place with other things to look at and think about.

Or start pulling the invisible anger out with your hands … ask where it is and describe how you are pulling the anger out. Let the child blow it away .

When not as angry Talk about why the anger and where in the body the anger is.Support your child by holding the forehead and back of head and encourage good breathing with the stomach expanding on the in breath… improving blood flow and oxygen.

Apply pressure to the pad part of the palm below the thumb to reduce adrenaline.

With an integrated brain and reduced adrenaline your child is able to make a conscious choice about behaviour. William Glasser developed Choice Therapy which beautifully explains the interaction between wants and needs and behaviour.

Is my angry child on the Autistic Spectrum?

As parents you may be called upon to trust your intuition when you sense that something more is effecting your child’s emotional behaviour.  CEASE Therapy provides support and guidance to help parents of children who have autism.

Soothing your Small Intestine
Your child’s grumpiness may be a symptom of an unhappy small intestine which is allowing larger food molecules to hit the blood stream. This contributes to a number of inflammatory responses and toxin build up in the body. Inflammatory brain response resulting in inflammatory behaviour. Then you are pulling your hair out….and your child is really asking you for help.

Get rid of wheat …. try buckwheat, amaranth and quinoa available in your supermarket.

Probiotics …..give the good bacteria a chance to get rid of toxins – take just before bed.

Please check with your naturopath or Doctor about vitamin B levels in particular B12. Low B12 contributes to a wide variety of diseases and syndromes. In fact many conditions are really an undiagnosed B12 deficiency.

Natural products – rethink your toothpaste and coax the kids to gargle with himalayan sea salt, use dental floss and brush with a paste of sodium bicarbonate. Exercise your tongue by moving it in and around your teeth and gums. Exercising your tongue in the way it was designed to work also improves your facial tone.

Make bathtime a soak in magnesium chloride or epsom salts (magnesium sulphate as magnesium is a great pain reliever! Some people use magnesium in place of paracetemol.

Milk – we could drink it until the cows come home but how congested so we get? Goats milk, rice milk could be your replacement. Try plain yoghurt with a little water on quinoa porridge.

Check this site for the very soothing, intestinal nurturing chicken and pumpkin soup.

Chia seeds are a great anti-inflammatory, soak and add a green vege powder for a quick me up. If you are a busy mum, have this drink daily to help keep your energy levels up.

Use Xylitol instead of sugar and it soothes the intestinal walls and is good for your gums.

Find what works for you and start with the changes that suit you. Give yourself some time and make more changes

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